Haiku #034

Glossary for this haiku

navigate

Bureaucratic
/ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/v. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from L. navigare, 'to sail,' repurposed into boardroom parlance circa 2009 by a strategy consultant who needed a verb that implied direction without accountability, see Porter 2013, Internal Rhetoric Review.

A verb used to obscure decision-making by implying movement or effort while avoiding any specific commitment or outcome.

'We will chart a path through this uncertainty,' said the SVP - Q3 Strategy Briefing

landscape

Bureaucratic
/ˈlænd.skeɪp/n. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from M.E. landescope, literally "view of land", repurposed in corporate argot circa 2008 by consultants seeking a neutral noun for competitive context; see R. H. Caldwell, Pitch Theory Quarterly, 2011.

A neutral abstraction that collapses competitors, technologies, and risks into a single slide to justify initiatives without committing to specifics.

'Given the current landscape, pursuing two platform plays is recommended,' - Q2 Strategy Deck, slide 18

optimize

Bureaucratic
/ˈɑp.tə.maɪz/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.

A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.

'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12