Haiku #032

Glossary for this haiku

boil the ocean

Colloquial
/bɔɪl ði ˈoʊ.ʃən/phrase (evasive)

Etym.From a literal maritime taunt, recycled by management consultants in the 1990s as a pithy metaphor for impractical mandates, see R. Camden, Corporate Lexicons, 1998.

A rhetorical maneuver that reframes a solvable issue as an all-encompassing, impractical project to obscure specifics, stall decisions, and share blame.

'We are not going to boil the ocean this quarter', Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

move fast

Colloquial
/ˈmuːv ˈfæst/phrase (evasive)

Etym.Emerged from 2010s Silicon Valley strategy decks as a compact imperative for execution, popularized in venture memos; see L. Chen, "Momentum Language in Venture Capital", 2017, Pacific Business Review.

A leadership slogan that permits accelerated delivery of visible artifacts while deferring hard trade-offs, rigorous review, and accountability.

'Ship quickly, document later' - All-Hands Notes, April 2019

optimize

Bureaucratic
/ˈɑp.tə.maɪz/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.

A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.

'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12