Haiku #096
Glossary for this haiku
Contemplating
ClaudionaryA Claude Code spinner-verb. See the full entry for the full story.
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ColloquialEtym.From L. scala, 'ladder', repurposed into corporate parlance circa 2010 by a consulting associate who needed a word that implied growth without immediate budgeting, see Henley, Corporate Metaphors, 2014.
To defer investment decisions and accountability by framing operational expansion as an inevitable future state rather than a present cost.
'We will scale next quarter' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
testament
BureaucraticEtym.from Latin, originally meaning 'a witness,' repurposed by strategy consultants in the 2010s as a solemn synonym for customer validation; see Lowry, Glossary of Disruption, 2016.
A rhetorical device that converts inconvenient outcomes or unresolved risk into a ceremonial artifact intended to justify inaction.
'This is our testament to durable innovation' - Q2 All-Hands Transcript
optimize
BureaucraticEtym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.
A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.
'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
bandwidth
BureaucraticEtym.From electrical-engineering jargon for spectral capacity, repurposed by corporate communicators in the 1990s to quantify time and attention, see H. L. Carrington, Corporate Lexicon Review 1999.
A polite, numeric-sounding metaphor used to excuse declined requests by attributing failure to limited human time or attention.
'I don't have the bandwidth for that' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12