Haiku #009

Glossary for this haiku

delve

Bureaucratic
/dɛlv/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from Old English delfan and related Germanic roots meaning to dig, recontextualized in corporate speech by a 2011 consulting brief, cf. Grindle, Journal of Strategic Lexicography, 2014.

to initiate a time-consuming delve, an ostentatious procedural inquiry that delays decisions while implying analytic rigor.

'Let's delve into the numbers and circle back with next steps' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

tapestry

Bureaucratic
/ˈtæp.ə.stri/n. (evasive)

Etym.from Old French tapisserie, entering English as tapestry and later appropriated by strategy consultancies to suggest coherent design while evading specifics, see Harrow, Corporate Lexica (2018).

A rhetorical cover term that conflates unrelated initiatives into an implied whole to justify continued funding and postpone accountability.

'We are aligning product, data, and culture into a single tapestry to unlock synergies' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47

navigate

Bureaucratic
/ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/v. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from L. navigare, 'to sail,' repurposed into boardroom parlance circa 2009 by a strategy consultant who needed a verb that implied direction without accountability, see Porter 2013, Internal Rhetoric Review.

A verb used to obscure decision-making by implying movement or effort while avoiding any specific commitment or outcome.

'We will chart a path through this uncertainty,' said the SVP - Q3 Strategy Briefing

realm

Bureaucratic
/ˈrɛlm/n. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from Old French reialme and Latin regalis, secularized by 17th century cartographers, reintroduced to boardroom usage circa 2013 by a boutique consultancy; see J. L. Marlow, Lexical Inflation in Startups, 2019.

A deliberately vague label applied to an initiative to suggest scale and novelty while postponing deliverables and measurable scope.

'We will expand into the AI realm in Q4 to capture adjacent market opportunities' - Q3 Strategy Memo