Haiku #087

Glossary for this haiku

optimize

Bureaucratic
/ˈɑp.tə.maɪz/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.

A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.

'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

synergy

Bureaucratic
/ˈsɪn.ɚ.dʒi/n. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from L. synergia, 'working together', revived in corporate English during the 2000s to supply a quantifiable-sounding cover for merger rhetoric; see E. Mallory, Journal of Corporate Rhetoric, 2011.

A deliberately vague noun deployed to claim added value from loosely related assets, thereby permitting assertions without metrics or timelines.

'We should prioritize synergy across products and partnerships' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12