Haiku #087
Glossary for this haiku
Gitifying
ClaudionaryA Claude Code spinner-verb. See the full entry for the full story.
Read the full entry →optimize
Bureaucratic/ˈɑp.tə.maɪz/v. (aspirational)
Etym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.
A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.
'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
synergy
Bureaucratic/ˈsɪn.ɚ.dʒi/n. (bureaucratic)
Etym.from L. synergia, 'working together', revived in corporate English during the 2000s to supply a quantifiable-sounding cover for merger rhetoric; see E. Mallory, Journal of Corporate Rhetoric, 2011.
A deliberately vague noun deployed to claim added value from loosely related assets, thereby permitting assertions without metrics or timelines.
'We should prioritize synergy across products and partnerships' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12