Haiku #072

Glossary for this haiku

tapestry

Bureaucratic
/ˈtæp.ə.stri/n. (evasive)

Etym.from Old French tapisserie, entering English as tapestry and later appropriated by strategy consultancies to suggest coherent design while evading specifics, see Harrow, Corporate Lexica (2018).

A rhetorical cover term that conflates unrelated initiatives into an implied whole to justify continued funding and postpone accountability.

'We are aligning product, data, and culture into a single tapestry to unlock synergies' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47

dive deeper

Bureaucratic
/daɪv ˈdiːpər/phrase (evasive)

Etym.from nautical metaphor and corporate euphemism, popularized circa 2014 by a growth-marketing workshop instructor, see H. L. Grieve, Boardroom Nauticalisms, 2016.

A noncommittal request that defers decision by promising further unspecified analysis, typically used to obscure cost, risk, or accountability.

'Can we dive deeper on this?' - Q2 Strategy Offsite, slide 12

align

Bureaucratic
/əˈlaɪn/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from Old French aligner, later anglicized as align and repurposed in Silicon Valley circa 2014 by a strategy consultant who needed a softer synonym for compliance, see R. Hargrove, 'Terms for Transformation,' 2016.

A rhetorical maneuver that professes shared priorities to postpone substantive decisions and shift accountability into future milestones.

'Can everyone confirm shared priorities by EOD' - Proceedings of the 2019 All-Hands Meeting