Haiku #072
Glossary for this haiku
tapestry
BureaucraticEtym.from Old French tapisserie, entering English as tapestry and later appropriated by strategy consultancies to suggest coherent design while evading specifics, see Harrow, Corporate Lexica (2018).
A rhetorical cover term that conflates unrelated initiatives into an implied whole to justify continued funding and postpone accountability.
'We are aligning product, data, and culture into a single tapestry to unlock synergies' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47
dive deeper
BureaucraticEtym.from nautical metaphor and corporate euphemism, popularized circa 2014 by a growth-marketing workshop instructor, see H. L. Grieve, Boardroom Nauticalisms, 2016.
A noncommittal request that defers decision by promising further unspecified analysis, typically used to obscure cost, risk, or accountability.
'Can we dive deeper on this?' - Q2 Strategy Offsite, slide 12
align
BureaucraticEtym.from Old French aligner, later anglicized as align and repurposed in Silicon Valley circa 2014 by a strategy consultant who needed a softer synonym for compliance, see R. Hargrove, 'Terms for Transformation,' 2016.
A rhetorical maneuver that professes shared priorities to postpone substantive decisions and shift accountability into future milestones.
'Can everyone confirm shared priorities by EOD' - Proceedings of the 2019 All-Hands Meeting