Haiku #057

Glossary for this haiku

scale

Colloquial
/skeɪl/v. (aspirational)

Etym.From L. scala, 'ladder', repurposed into corporate parlance circa 2010 by a consulting associate who needed a word that implied growth without immediate budgeting, see Henley, Corporate Metaphors, 2014.

To defer investment decisions and accountability by framing operational expansion as an inevitable future state rather than a present cost.

'We will scale next quarter' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

optimize

Bureaucratic
/ˈɑp.tə.maɪz/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.

A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.

'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

burn rate

Bureaucratic
/ˈbɝn reɪt/n. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from literal measures of combustion and fuel consumption in nineteenth-century steam engineering, later appropriated by venture finance discourse in the 1970s, see Harrington 1979.

A reported monthly cash outflow metric used to establish financing runway and to normalize or conceal poor unit economics.

'With current assumptions runway extends to eighteen months,' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12