Haiku #006

Glossary for this haiku

ideate

Bureaucratic
/ˈaɪ.di.eɪt/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from L. idea, turned into the verb ideate in corporate speech during the 2010s by strategy consultancies seeking a term that implied action without deliverables, Johnson 2014, 'Verbing for Engagement'.

A performative brainstorming verb that generates vague options and legitimizes extra meetings while postponing concrete decisions.

'Let's ideate around the roadmap before committing resources' - Product Offsite Notes Q3 2022

seamlessly

Bureaucratic
/ˈsim.ləs.li/adv. (euphemistic)

Etym.Derived from late corporate argot and the adverbial suffix -ly, popularized around 2009 by product marketers who preferred optimism over particulars, see Hargrove, Corporate Lexicon, 2011.

An adverbial rhetorical device that obscures integration effort by asserting absence of friction while deferring costs, timelines, and accountability.

'The platform will integrate with existing systems seamlessly' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

scale

Colloquial
/skeɪl/v. (aspirational)

Etym.From L. scala, 'ladder', repurposed into corporate parlance circa 2010 by a consulting associate who needed a word that implied growth without immediate budgeting, see Henley, Corporate Metaphors, 2014.

To defer investment decisions and accountability by framing operational expansion as an inevitable future state rather than a present cost.

'We will scale next quarter' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

circle back

Bureaucratic
/ˈsɝː.kəl ˈbæk/phrase (evasive)

Etym.Arising from late 20th century corporate speech, modeled on the physical action of returning to a point, popularized in meeting minutes and consultant memos; see Lang, 2002, 'Corporate Euphemisms and the Art of Delay'.

A polite verbal placeholder that postpones a decision or responsibility by promising an unspecified future follow-up.

'Let's circle back on this next week,' said the product manager - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47