Haiku #079

Glossary for this haiku

align

Bureaucratic
/əˈlaɪn/v. (aspirational)

Etym.from Old French aligner, later anglicized as align and repurposed in Silicon Valley circa 2014 by a strategy consultant who needed a softer synonym for compliance, see R. Hargrove, 'Terms for Transformation,' 2016.

A rhetorical maneuver that professes shared priorities to postpone substantive decisions and shift accountability into future milestones.

'Can everyone confirm shared priorities by EOD' - Proceedings of the 2019 All-Hands Meeting

north star

Bureaucratic
/ˈnɔrθˌstɑr/n. (aspirational)

Etym.from the navigational phrase 'north star', originally denoting Polaris, adopted into corporate strategy parlance circa 2012 by a boutique consultancy seeking majestic-sounding direction, cited in Strategy Glossary, 2015.

A rhetorical device that converts vague long-term ambition into an indefinite project timeline and absolves present commitments of measurable accountability.

'This will be our guiding light, pending resource allocation and metric definition' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12

navigate

Bureaucratic
/ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/v. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from L. navigare, 'to sail,' repurposed into boardroom parlance circa 2009 by a strategy consultant who needed a verb that implied direction without accountability, see Porter 2013, Internal Rhetoric Review.

A verb used to obscure decision-making by implying movement or effort while avoiding any specific commitment or outcome.

'We will chart a path through this uncertainty,' said the SVP - Q3 Strategy Briefing

landscape

Bureaucratic
/ˈlænd.skeɪp/n. (bureaucratic)

Etym.from M.E. landescope, literally "view of land", repurposed in corporate argot circa 2008 by consultants seeking a neutral noun for competitive context; see R. H. Caldwell, Pitch Theory Quarterly, 2011.

A neutral abstraction that collapses competitors, technologies, and risks into a single slide to justify initiatives without committing to specifics.

'Given the current landscape, pursuing two platform plays is recommended,' - Q2 Strategy Deck, slide 18

table stakes

Bureaucratic
/ˈteɪ.bəl steɪks/phrase (evasive)

Etym.From poker, where it denotes compulsory betting amounts; migrated into corporate parlance circa 1990s as a sterner synonym for baseline requirements, see Kowalski 2008, Business Lexicon Review.

A rhetorical device that rebrands ordinary baseline requirements as nonnegotiable prerequisites, used to inflate modest needs and deter further scrutiny.

'This is table stakes for any vendor' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47