Haiku #046
Glossary for this haiku
tapestry
BureaucraticEtym.from Old French tapisserie, entering English as tapestry and later appropriated by strategy consultancies to suggest coherent design while evading specifics, see Harrow, Corporate Lexica (2018).
A rhetorical cover term that conflates unrelated initiatives into an implied whole to justify continued funding and postpone accountability.
'We are aligning product, data, and culture into a single tapestry to unlock synergies' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47
cultivate
BureaucraticEtym.from Latin colere, 'to till and tend,' repurposed by corporate communicators in the 2010s as a genteel synonym for directed improvement; see J. H. Mercer, Rhetoric of Growth, 2014.
To assert ownership of vague future outcomes by promising intangible relationship- and skill-based growth while deferring measurable metrics and deadlines.
'We will cultivate cross-functional empathy to drive sustainable value,' Senior Director of People and Ops - All-Hands Transcript, 2023
robust
BureaucraticEtym.From L. robur, 'hard wood', later redeployed by strategy consultants circa 2009 as a polite substitute for admitting uncertainty; see K. Lorton, Frameworks for Growth, 2011.
Employed to assert resilience against unspecified failures, thereby deflecting requests for tolerances, tests, or concrete failure modes.
'We need a robust architecture before customer rollout' - Q2 Product Review
circle back
BureaucraticEtym.Arising from late 20th century corporate speech, modeled on the physical action of returning to a point, popularized in meeting minutes and consultant memos; see Lang, 2002, 'Corporate Euphemisms and the Art of Delay'.
A polite verbal placeholder that postpones a decision or responsibility by promising an unspecified future follow-up.
'Let's circle back on this next week,' said the product manager - Q3 Board Deck, slide 47