Haiku #059
Glossary for this haiku
actionable
BureaucraticEtym.from L. actio, "doing," filtered through 2010s management-speak and rebranded as 'actionable' by a strategy associate who needed feasibility without commitment, see H. Lin, 2016.
A corporate adjective that declares a recommendation actionable, thereby inflating apparent feasibility while shifting accountability forward in time.
'Please translate insights into concrete next steps with owners and deadlines' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
optimize
BureaucraticEtym.from L. optimus, 'best,' later anglicized as optimize into managerial parlance circa 2008 by a consultancy associate who needed a verb implying progress without accountability, see Halpern, Corporate Lexica 2011.
A verb used to reframe cuts, delays, or metric gymnastics as intentional improvement.
'We will optimize retention by Q4' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
platform
BureaucraticEtym.from Old French plate-forme 'flat shape', recontextualized by management consultancies and marketing teams in the early 2000s as a neutral label for strategic aggregation; see P. Holloway, Corporate Lexica, 2011.
A platform is a corporate abstraction that bundles unrelated features into a single investable object, thereby inflating valuations and postponing responsibility.
'We will build a platform to unlock network effects and synergize monetization' - Q3 Board Deck, slide 12
leverage
BureaucraticEtym.From Old French levier and Latin levare 'to lift', repurposed in corporate English during the 1990s by consultants seeking a noun that implied advantage without specification (Keane, 2003).
A managerial invocation that implies operational effectiveness without measurable criteria; leverage obscures accountability by presenting vague scalability as a remedy.
'Leverage existing platforms to unlock synergies across the portfolio' - Q2 Strategy Memo, slide 3